---

Billy: A Gay Trilogy - Book One: In The Beginning

To say that his mother was in a ‘mood’ would be redundant, seeing as how she was always that way, but today a particularly dark cloud seemed to be hanging over her head. Therefore, Billy ate his oatmeal in silence and immediately headed outside where the sunshine smacked him right in the eyes. Even so, it felt a hell of a lot better than the potential hurricane back inside the house. A slight warm breeze whispered through the trees in the yard, smelling of freshly mown grass and flowers which momentarily carried Billy back to his younger days when doing yard work on Sundays with the family.

Figuring it to now be about 86 degrees he estimated the high to reach well over 90 and was not exactly looking forward to a day spent sweating. Taking his mind away from this uncomfortable thought was the unmistakable sight of the six-foot-four, slender figure of his neighbor, Abraham Adani, who was walking along the sidewalk toward Billy.

“How's it goin' Bill?” the man asked.

“Hi Abe. What's new?”

“Not much. How about you?”

Billy lowered himself down to the curb, prompting his friend to do the same. “I went to a party with Bob and Mirna last night and met somebody.”

Abraham cast him an eye, a smile growing upon his lips. “What's her name?”

“Her?” Billy asked instinctively, just then realizing that Sue would be a better course to follow than Greg for reasons of his reputation. “Oh. Sue. We had a lot of fun.” Billy paused a moment to think before saying, “Abe, can I ask you something?”

“Yo,” Abraham said, passing a large paw across his nearly black, shaved scalp to wipe away the sweat.

“See, last night, after I left the party, I...” Billy began, pausing to consider if this was really the direction in which he wanted to take the conversation. He desperately needed to talk to somebody about Greg and his experience, but knowing the possibly severe consequences of doing so caused him to second-guess the wisdom in revealing the truth.

“Yeah?” Abraham asked.

“Well, it's sort of hard… I mean, I didn’t mean to say it was hard or anything like that. It was nothing like that,” he quickly added while feeling a more profound heat consume his face over that of the sun. “ But I've never... What it was, really... probably because I was so upset. Yeah, that’s it.”

Abraham threw a hand in the air with a shrug. “Yeah, no doubt. What the hell are you talking about, Bill?”

Billy gave him a side glance. “Well, you live alone don't you?”

“Yeah.”

“But you used to have a wife, right?”

“No, but I've had a few roommates.”

“So you know how a woman would take this,” he said, substituting Greg’s sex with Sues to maintain the heterosexual flow of his narrative.

“Bill, my man, you're talking in circles.”

“How do you know when you really care for someone? Is it a right away thing or gradual?” Billy asked cautiously.

“Why?”

“Because, I felt... I've never felt more fantastic in my life as I did last night with him.”

“Him? You mean her?”

“Her!” Billy quickly corrected while experiencing even more heat on his face . “Yeah. That's right, her. I mean Sue.”

“You're blushing,” Abraham teased. “You really have it bad for this chick, don't you?”

“But it's wrong isn't it?”

“What could be wrong about love? If you feel strongly for somebody, show them how you feel. Call her, see if she feels the same.”

“Can't do that. I didn't get the number.” Downtrodden at this reality, Billy hesitated. The thought of talking to Greg again sent a warm sensation through him, igniting a new fire below his belt.

“Try the phone book,” Abraham suggested.

“Uh, I don't know the last name. Besides,” he began, hanging his head and kicking at the ground gently to show his disrespect for the creeping malaise now being felt. He then added, softly, “I don't know if he feels the same.”

“Pronoun trouble today?” Abraham asked, grinning.

Billy looked up. “Huh?”

“That’s the second time you’ve said he.”

“She,” Billy quickly corrected, adding, “you know what I mean.”

The man smiled and patted Billy on the back gently. “Aw, come on now, if it involves you how could he not feel the…”

“She,” Billy said.

“It’s back to a she now, huh? Okay, have it your way. How could she not feel the same? Any idea how you can get a hold of her?”

Billy thought about it, realizing that, other than retracing last night’s steps and returning to Greg’s house, he really had no way of contacting the man. But maybe it was for the best. Recalling the deep guilt he was experiencing last night, Billy really did not want to travel down that road again. This was instantly countered with memories of how wonderful he had felt when being with the man, and how, try as he might, Billy could not get Greg out of his mind.

“Do you know where he lives?” Abraham asked.

“Yeah,” Billy said automatically, picturing the house as it was last night, bathed in the soft lights of the walkway. “Over by the bowling alley.”

“Well, want me to drive you over there to see him?”

Billy’s heart, and mood, took a giant leap and he was about to jump up and accept the generous offer when it suddenly dawned on him that his fantasy was perfect in every way except one. Maybe Greg wanted to have nothing to do with him. After all, Billy had been in such a hurry to get out of the house last night that Greg must have thought he had done something wrong. Maybe he was thoroughly pissed over Billy not having returned the favor. With this revelation he again felt his mood slipping. “No, I guess not,” he said with a sigh.

“What’s his name?”

“Greg,” Billy said casually, the name tripping off his tongue as if it were a natural extension of his own. It sounded almost poetic, heavenly; as if it should be surrounded by butterflies or angels. Greg. It was the world’s most perfect name and needed to be written on billboards around the town. In the midst of these thoughts Billy suddenly realized what he had said and he turned abruptly to face Abraham and make the correction to ‘Sue’, but the look on the man’s face told him that it was over. The charade had worked momentarily but the truth won out and would now have to stand on its own. “Greg,” he repeated softly, his gaze melting down to the street before him.

Selected text © 2008 Timothy Lee